Wednesday, October 13, 2010

30 before 30: self-assessment

I recently turned 30. (Thank you to all of the wonderful friends whose love and support on my birthday made me excited to start my fourth decade of life!) I am trying to note changes in my personality resulting from age, but it's hard to tell with only a few weeks of information. I predict: less putting up with other people's shit, more feeling entitled to have my opinion considered, continuing moderation of viewpoints (e.g., there is too much sex on television! The Madonna episode of Glee embarrassed me!), whole different topics for anxiety (physical decay, my own and my friends' family structures, career advancement, another decade of global warming, aging parents?), and . . . spirituality? I also predict in the next ten years another pop cultural phenomenon for single 30-something women in the 21st century, since Sex in the City killed itself off with that second movie and Eat Pray Love resolved with a perfect cadence.

In July, R and O and I sat down to write some lists. R wrote the 31 things she wanted to accomplish before turning 31 (she had seven months); O the 30 things before she turned 30 (she had a year); and I wrote my 30 before 30 with two months to go. Here is how I did:

30 Before 30

1. Take Mom and Dad to Crystal Springs Reservoir
The idea was to take them to this local nature spot, so that I could spend quality time with them and introduce them to a Bay Area treasure while getting them to walk off their fat. This goal was too specific. F.

2. Take Grandma to the movies
I give myself a high grade even though I did not take Grandma to the movies because circumstances changed: she is too immobile to sit in a theater for two and a half hours. So, I brought the movie to her, and we watched "Labyrinth" in my house. Also, she hurt her back two weeks ago and can barely walk, so I have been spending about an hour per day with her, giving her massages, taking her on wheelchair walks, and watching a really bad Chinese soap opera with her. More on this unexpected time with Grandma in another post. A.

3. Move to [redacted], or make definite plans to move
Discretion commands me not to say much. S frets that I won't actually follow through because I haven't figured out the career aspect of this, but this goal was more about getting myself there emotionally. Logistics will follow. B+.

4. Record three more songs
One for S on July 4th. One for a songwriters' group in Oakland that I joined. One to explain my early retirement plans to my boss. They are sloppy, but the goal was to record three more songs, not record them well. A.

5. Participate in something performative (reading, music, other)
Not what I had in mind, but I played the aforementioned second recording for the songwriters' group in Oakland. I'm counting this. B.

6. Finish bedside book pile
The problem with this was that I did not take an inventory of the books by my bed when I made this goal, and then I added ten more books to this pile with impulse purchases, borrowed books, and library reserves. I did read seven books since July, but were they the ones I intended to read? C-.

7. Discover two new bands that I really like
Eh. I went to see the Spinto Band and Miniature Tigers with JY at the Hotel Utah. I don't know that I really like them, but I liked them. They're both cute, sweet, electro-pop rock bands, the former a bit more frantic and young, the latter more mature and mellow. B.

8. Win one bet against O
During our San Francisco shopping expedition, O bought me a discount cropped cardigan and dared me to wear it (and only it) on our weekend bikeabout with R and to pretend like it was something I intended to incorporate into my everyday wardrobe. I cannot overstate how convincingly this appalling article made me look like a banana muffin. Unfortunately, I left it behind for the ride and lost that bet. We also have a bet going about whether I can finish P90X, but we won't know the outcome until Thanksgiving. I'm still on the wagon after seven weeks. C.

9. Run the San Francisco marathon
4:05:07. Also decided to do the San Jose Rock 'n' Roll Half Marathon last week. 1:47:21. A.

10. Go to eastern California or northern northern California
Desolation Wilderness with S. A.

11. Buy more contact lenses
What is there to say? I'm awesome at buying contact lenses. A.

12. Go camping again (Lost Coast?)
See #10. A.

13. Do another bike-about/food odyssey with R and O (balut in South Bay?)
R and O and I do "bikeabouts," where we tool around the Bay Area on our bikes, stopping frequently to eat things. In the winter and spring we did bikeabouts to a taco truck in Niles and a donut shop and a chaat store in Sunnyvale. In July we did a 41 mile ride to and from Fremont to the Olivera Egg Ranch in San Jose. It turned out that balut was sold as live fertilized eggs from this egg ranch, so we decided against carrying unhatched chickens in our jersey pockets and instead went to the nearby farmers market for Mexican tamales, Indonesian tamales, white nectarines, and kettle corn. A.

14. Try to go jogging with Mom (or encourage her to do some aerobic activity)
This is a tough one. My parents really need to exercise. It's very hard to motivate them. I ended up buying six workout DVDs. The one that stuck was Cardio Hula for Beginners, which has introduced the "Tiki pump" move into my dance vocabulary. Still I'm finding it hard to change my mom's habits, but we have done this workout a few times together now. C+.

15. Bike with Dad to Union City
Nope. The idea behind this one was to spend more time one-on-one with my dad and also to get him to exercise. We have done Cardio Hula together a few times ("Step, two, three . . . now uwehe!!"), but no biking. D.

16. Find renters
Done. A.

17. Decide whether Boo can live with me when I move
Alas, no. Logistically difficult, plus my mom does not want to part with him. F for heartbreak, but A for effort.

18. Get to a stable place with S
Any answer I give here is counting balut before it is hatched, but I still think we're doing pretty well. My magic finger measures 44 mm in circumference, honey! Pass?

19. Do a weekday night hike with R and O and friends to spy on friends' relationship
Rancho San Antonio on a Thursday night, followed by fish tacos. Turns out it was less spying on a relationship and more pushing two unworthy men toward O. Neither stuck, but the gorge was very pretty. R entertained us by asking questions from the geography trivia quiz she had participated in at work that afternoon. What Middle East country consumes the most water per capita? Egypt. A.

20. Spend time with BH
Not as much as I would have liked, but there is more time in the future. S and I went to her place and gutted anchovies, watched video clips of talented Indian kids dancing and crying, and then attempted to do "smokey" eye makeup with B's limited tools. B- (for not spending more time).

21. Spend time with HK and KW
Total fail. Some email tag, no h.o. F.

22. Spend time with JY
Same as #20: not as much as I would have liked. J did come down from Oakland one Saturday to make zongzi with my grandma, where she made a very convincing and guai granddaughter, albeit with a strange Chinese accent. Then I gave her the bottle of wine that S and I had bought for her in Healdsburg and she said, "Oh no! I don't drink!" Party foul! B- (same reason as above).

23. Try Richard's mountain bike at Arastradero Preserve before work one morning
I pumped up the tires. Does this count? F.

24. Learn to cook five more of Mom's dishes
Tea eggs, sea bass, cucumber salad, zajiang stir fry, chili tot pie. A.

25. Do something nice for S's birthday
I wrote her a book called Y.O.M.S. I think this deserves an A?

26. Read "The Nine"
Why is this on my list? F.

27. Write something every day
I can't keep track of things that happen every day. But I did start a creative writing class at Stanford, which is pretty exciting. C-.

28. [Redacted]
Decided against this. F.

29. [Redacted]
Simply failed. F.

30. [Redacted]
Decided against this. F.

AVERAGE GRADE:
C+

Humph.

No comments: