Monday, May 21, 2007

ding dong DANG!

seven bottles of soju + six people = fanks for the mammaries!

the new M.O.: invisibility

Which is worse: the horror of being at a lunch that celebrates, inter alia, a successful defense of the manufacturers of the Corvair, or the horror of not being able to find a single person at a hundred person lunch who shares your sense of horror? I'm wearing all black today because all of my other work clothes (two pairs of pants, one shirt, one suit) are being loaded with chemicals by old Chinese women, but if I had an all teal/taupe outfit I would wear it every day to blend in better with the carpets here. The game of self-preservation is won with camouflage, closed doors, earplugs, polite but insistent refusals of pretty things, and the admission that $35 sushi tastes the same to me as $5 sushi. I don't eat fish anyway, so I'm going to eat a $1.25 cheese sandwich and listen angrily to the Pogues and read Glengarry Glen Ross by myself instead of mingling with the other summer associates. Hello! I'm in middle school again, but now our skin is slack on our faces and we have wallets filled with dry cleaning receipts and I can't blame my parents for everything I hate!

But I'm going to Mongolia with Bernie in July and Turkey with Stephanie in August! Gers in Anatolia!

Monday, May 14, 2007

words of wisdom from the ecips slrig

If you wanna be my friends, you gotta get with my lover.

The Spice Girls also said: "I don't feel grateful when you come to my house, use me like a hotel, fail to ask me a single question about my life, and then express to me how you thought you wouldn't like my lover but then were pleasantly surprised that you did! I feel like pressing the potato masher into your face!"

[Gentle Reader, I will not avail you of the other 791 words that initially constituted this long and winding blogpost. I will summarize: I feel really hurt by the way I have been treated and judged in the last year by people who matter to me, and I need that to change. Those of you who matter will know that I am asking you for something, and those of you who don't can continue to believe that this an errant post on a website dedicated to the production of generic brand fire retardant handbags. Yours, Bananarchist.]