Wednesday, May 31, 2006

James Conway Sr., 78, a Founder of Mister Softee, Dies - New York Times

James Conway Sr., 78, a Founder of Mister Softee, Dies - New York Times:

There are words to the world's most annoying song!

"The CREAM-i-est DREAM-i-est SOFT ice CREAM
you GET from MIS-ter SOF-tee.
FOR a re-FRESH-ing de-LIGHT su-PREME
LOOK for MIS-ter SOF-tee...."

If you can't remember the tune, the first line (transposed to C major) is GAGEDCDCACBCDGEC...

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

elephant treadmill

So far, it's the trainers at the Alaska Zoo who are breaking a sweat trying to coax Maggie the elephant onto the world's first treadmill for a pachyderm.

Despite months of training using treats to entice the elephant to work out, the sometimes cantankerous African elephant is not much interested in using her treadmill to go for a brisk morning walk, or for that matter an afternoon or evening walk.

Maggie, for the most part, is chilling out.


Saturday, May 20, 2006


Wow, this picture thing has got me excited. Here's a recap of this semester's more exciting moments.

Pointing to someone's ass.

New Orleans

Bell Biv Devoe.

Extra Super Hold

And here's a picture of an unattractive tomato roasting on the Henry Hudson, 24 miles and four ass blisters into the second leg of the NYC triathlon...damn right that's not a road bike, and damn right I left my granny rack on in the back!


Oh my god! I'm living in the stone age! I started my blog in 2004, before this whole "picture" thing happened to Blogger. Now you can post pictures?! So easy!!!!! Here is a recent picture of me at the 10th Street Russian Baths. I'm getting flogged by two men who only identified by their patronymics. With oak leaves. It only cost me $56!

Monday, May 08, 2006

micturate on this carpet

Would it be inappropriate to drop my pants in Furman 310 and spray the room with diarrhea? Or to replace the ugly piece of 3rd grader's "abstract art" in this cheap glass frame with a 24" x 24" picture of Kim Jong Il? Or my face photoshopped behind Kim Jong Il's glasses? Or to selectively pull all these mysterious cables out of the AV closet in here? Or to destroy the table and feed my torts books into the bonfire that I'll stoke with this lacquered wood? Or to hook a finger into the "emergency alarm" switch and disrupt 200 test-taking students upstairs? Or to punch the ceiling tiles into 1" x 2" strips and make a Jenga set out of them? Or pull up the dizzying grey-black-taupe carpet in an effort to locate that beating, beating heart? And to jump into the trashcan and sing Billy Joel's "The Longest Time" when security comes to cart me into the 1L subterranean detention center?

Stay tuned!

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

hey remember

i remember doing this last semester...slacking the whole semester, then cramming the last three days before the exam, and then slacking off on the cramming by blogging! except last semester i knew what the battle of forms was, i had a ruinous secret to live and hide, and i lived next to a park where i could watch pigeons in the widening gyre metaphorically enacting my anxieties over a frozen man-made pond. now i can't spell "contrax" let alone remember its concepts, i have a loose grasp on equal protection under the 14th amendment, and my secret stays with me in bushwick.

plus ca change, plus c'est don't remember the rest of that spanish saying. is "infingeable" a word? is "anti-non-counter-countermajoritarianism" a word? if a law student falls asleep in a public library, can she hear the sound of one wavy-haired professor professing?

bobby 7

residency on bobby lee 7th floor continues. why the undergrads (there are 17,000 of them, i counted) gotta be so fucking disrespectful? is this not a LIBRARY?! i must move to a more upper-middle class city where the rule of law/bourgeois politesse is respected. note to self: bring muzzles.

recipe for fun!

(pizza for lunch + pizza for dinner) * two weeks = "funny" feelings!

Monday, May 01, 2006

colbert v. bush

remember when i cared about more things than just the chevron doctrine? me neither. but here's a reminder of the sad state of the world.

YouTube - Colbert Roasts Bush 1-3