sentences today from crazy people

Chat with a friend:

X: i was agonizing this morning about a speedo i am buying
X: thinking about how i could take it to my tailor

Email from a friend:

do you know i made a collage of [Tim Geithner]??  it's hanging by my desk.  shall i scan it and sent it to you, so that you can better appreciate his beauty?

Text from a friend:

Let's retire in Santa Barbara! This place smells like flowers. And they have lots of old people. We'll have lots of lemon parties! 

#define Lemon party [NSFW, fools].