Well, apparently I have more than one fan! Who is Poo Head? Who is Poo Face? Who is Poo Vulva? EEEEEWWW
Just quick notes from the conference:
1) Got so badly drunk last night, stumbly. Went to lezzie club. Had wonderful time. Danced. Came back to find that car had been broken into, friend's laptop gone, my backpack, digital cam, MP3 player, coat gone. Fuckers! Didn't this exact same shit happen to me in San Francisco in 1998? FUCKERS! Scoured dumpsters looking for a coat. Who would take my fucking coat? Now I have no coat. Everything else sucks but is replaceable. The coat was the only thing I had that didn't make my body look like a dinner roll. Sigh, vanity of vanities. Drove back to hotel stacked up with five other folks in the back of someone's pick up truck. In drunken lapse in judgment, tore off clothes and dove into hotel pool and then leapt out screaming of frozen nipples and racing naked back to my room; passed out and woke with extreme light sensitivity and inability to speak above a whisper.
2) Gave talk on Social Security. Went swimmingly. I managed to ape a phrase from Emerson that my brilliant professor snuck into a class last week: "Foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of a little mind" turned into "public benefits programs are the hobgoblins of the conservative mind." I think I did okay. I said that one idea floated was the "biggest, steamiest pile of shit I've ever heard." Ooops. The rest of the panel was dazzling. Fun, fun, fun. I'm so narcissistic I love speaking in front of crowds. Ah, me.
3) I kept my water cup empty on the table during the panel on Social Security just because everytime I spoke I felt as if my head was going to pop and I wanted to make sure I had a place to puke into.
4) The conference has been FUUUUNNN. I have not slept over four hours a night since getting here. I'm staying with high super femme J. Stern and we play flashlight games instead of sleeping. I've touched a bunch of chest hair. I've waded through interminable hours of queer API touchy-feeliness, suppressing the urge to beat the crowd of UC students who totally inappropriately call people racists and whine ALL DAY LONG. Tell me why I had to attend three hours of meetings with them yesterday?
More later. Off to dinner!
(Poo fans, please identify yourselves!)
Saturday, November 12, 2005
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
5 comments:
Mandy is back! Now I can smear poo all over my ample, heaving bosom.
That's sick, you sick fuck. But I'm happy Mandy's back too! Poo makes a great hair tonic.
people who steal mandy's things are made of poo. (the bad kind)
I hate those fucking coprophobes who think they're better than the rest of us poo creatures because they cling to some outmoded, Aristotelian notion of virtue. As if Plato wouldn't have agreed that we are all simply manifestations of the same, idealised Form of poo.
One time I thought I felt Mandy in my intestines, but it turned out to be giardia, and yes, it got all over my vulva.
Post a Comment