Friday, September 02, 2011

bait a hook

Awesome things about country music.

(1) The instrumentation, the sound.  The Telecaster over the acoustic playing rhythm. The clear vocals. The constant harmonizing. Twang. The way a pedal steel player can go from a bright major chord to the saddest minor you ever heard with just a slight motion of his knee. Also, in this particular video, the matching matador-inspired costuming, and the total stiffness of the lower body. Buck Owens, "Tiger by the Tail."


(2) The storytelling. Maybe because it's a folk form, maybe it's just the musical convention, but country songs are more narrative than other popular genres.  Here's Dolly Parton's "Joshua." Maybe I just like it because I first heard the song just as I was moving into an apartment near the railroad tracks occupied by a huge man named Joshua who had a big dog!


(3) The honesty. Sometimes all you want is someone clear-eyed saying, This is my truth, and I'm going to share it with you. Even though my truth might be sentimental, or boring, or conventional, or fantastical, I'm not going to hide it with loud guitars or complicated turns of phrase. Country is a very sincere form of art.  Here's Zac Brown's "Highway 20 Ride," telling the story of a father who rarely sees his son.


And Taylor Swift's "Tim McGraw":


(4) The themes. How can you argue with a sentiment like "cigareets and whiskey and wild, wild women / they'll drive you crazy / they'll drive you insane"?  "Cigareets and Whiskey and Wild Women," recorded by Buck Owens. 



I'm listing the things I like about country music because I recently heard two godawful country songs that made me want to pull my car over and stab myself in the face.  The first is a crass stupid song-length pun called "Fish," by Craig Campbell.  The key lyrics:
Jumped on in and we drove to the lake
Put her hand on my knee and said I can't wait
I had everything we needed in the bed of my truck
Turns out my baby loves to...fish
"Fish" stands in for another four-letter F word, get it??? Get it?????


Sometimes that's the problem with being so sincere! It's not that I don't find songs about sex sexy - but would it kill you to add poetry to your expression of desire?? See e.g. this or this. Also, I don't like songs that make me think about gender-conforming Republicans having sex, and this one does just that.


Then there is Justin Moore's "Bait a Hook."  This song just makes me feel sorry for the singer and his anxiety about times a-changing. It's the kind of anxiety that's disguised as boastfulness. He's upset that his ex-gal is dating a namby pamby with a hybrid car who likes to eat un-American things, so he responds by strutting around listing all the things he is capable of doing that the namby pamby can't do - 
I heard you had to drive him home after two umbrella drinks
I heard he's got a Prius, 'cause he's into bein' green
My buddies said he saw ya'll, eatin' that sushi stuff
Baby that don't sound like you, that don't sound like love, sounds like it sucks...
He can't even bait a hook
- which doesn't change the fact that he's singing from the reject pile. I feel embarrassed by Justin's delusional sour grapes act.  

Also helllllooo hating on Toyota and sushi and Japan is so played . . . 'cause 
China is the new boogeyman! Justin Moore didn't even try to identity new foreign (pronounced "farn") things to be irrationally scared by; he just relies on tropes developed during the 1980s! Maybe your ex-gal didn't want you because you were LAZY and UNCREATIVE, Justin!



Sometimes country music can be just as conservative and stupid and white and conforming as everyone who says "I like all kinds of music except country" fears that it is. I listened to this big-legged fellow ask, at a concert in Chicago, "Where my rednecks at???" And the crowd went "Wooo!!" And those of you who know my sallow pallor don't need me to explain why I couldn't wooo at that question. I retreated to the concessions stand for a sausage. Seriously friends, that man has such large, thick legs. They're like body pillows.

Let me leave you with something positive, a song and a video that I really like. Townes Van Zandt, "Waiting Around to Die."



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