Day 2 of The Master Cleanse. I find that capitalizing words makes them seem not only more authoritative but also more Teutonic. Gno What I Mean? The first day of TMC was excruciating. I had to make an emergency trip to Chinatown in the middle of the afternoon to buy lemons and to C-Town (the grocery store, not to be confused with Chinatown) to buy grade A maple syrup because I hadn’t squeezed enough lemons in the morning to sate my burning, yearning, churning hunger. All day long I daydreamed about food—equal opportunity, really, anything and everything. Mac and cheese, pizza, ramen, fried eggs, pork buns, avocado sandwiches, parathas. Anything savory and not sweet and sour. While walking Boo to our fetch spot this morning I saw a mud-streaked sack of generic brand ruffled potato chips, and felt a pang of longing. Wow! Every time I felt hungry I took a couple gulps of lemonade, which didn’t so much satisfy my hunger so much as it filled in with liquid the empty clench of my stomach.
Some unexpected side effects:
1) The skin on my right hand feels like it’s been stripped a couple of layers, a result from the overzealous squeezing of about 10 lemons/limes. My forearm is sore. Why is it so difficult to squeeze water from a rock I mean lemon juice from a lemon?
2) My throat hurts. A result of the acidic lemonade and the cayenne pepper, I suspect.
3) My teeth hurt. A result of the acidic blah blah blah.
BM Watch:
1) An enthusiastic showing at the work bathroom early in the morning, requiring several polite spritzes of the air freshener so as not to asphyxiate my officemates.
2) Nothing else since then. Should I be worried? I haven’t been attacking the suggested digestive aids as I should be, but I can’t really stomach (ha!) the idea of chugging a quart of salt water and waiting around for the next two hours to shit my brains out. Just doesn’t sound like fun, people!
All right. The discovery of my roommate’s juicer late last night made the last two Nalgenes go down easier. It’s now time to make today’s batch.
Saturday, June 03, 2006
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3 comments:
Mandy, are you gonna die?
i thought i admired you before, Mandy, but now, now i know how amazing you are! (ya friggin nutso)
you've lasted more than 14 hours. kudos to you.
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