portions of an email to deepa

In lieu of writing about my boring life, here is part of an email in which I wrote to my friend about my boring life:

i am becoming verrrrrry good at being resourceful and creative in order not to be bored, because i am, to answer another question and kill two birds with one stone, currently working in a "law firm" where my main task appears to be to spend as much time in the fitness room watching "the dog whisperer" and a show in the discovery channel where a guy who looks/acts like mark kirby pretends to be an exterminator or one who shods horses or a pig farmer, or something like that, while jogging at a slow, anaerobic clip on the treadmill. to pass the time i have taken up crafts. i also make a lot of money at this boondoggle of a job, so every day i plot how i can spend about $5/night on craft materials. so i bought some solar garden lights at a hardware store recently - cheap! like me! $2 per - and ripped them open and decided to learn how to make LED sculptures and solar rechargable lights and give them to my friends. also i learned how to fold a wallet out of 8.5x11" pieces of tyvek. i realize now why my mom fills the house with crappy drugstore tschotchkes like the dewy-eyed ceramic easter bunny ornaments that say "HAPPY EASTER" on them or the chocolate santa clauses in ice cream cones that remain in their dusty unopened packages - she buys them because she gets out of work every day at 5pm and there is nothing else to do in palo alto (because my dad works til 8pm) except drive to crappy stores, browse the aisles, and buy things you don't need. also i've started drawing at work, which passes the time.

okay!!!! enough about my boring life. i am making myself fall asleep! there i go, i'm sleeping, now i just involuntarily passed gas because my muscles relaxed. i have this problem where i treat my office like it's totally a private space, so i do things like fart discreetly and quietly all day long, and then my co-workers come into my office unexpectedly to give me assignments or say hello and then i just wait and hope that the wind generated by the opening of my office door is enough to disperse all of the offending particulates into the upper atmosphere. WTF, deepa, THIS IS MY LIFE!!!!