Inaugurating DoucheWatch will be the tight-lipped draft-dodger du jour, House Majority leader (not for long!) Tom DeLay.
How is Mr. DeLay a plastic sack of saline solution meant for vaginal and rectal lavage?
Many reasons, most currently and obviously his pending grand jury investigation for abusing the FAA into disclosing information about the airborne Texas Democrats who attempted to break quorum by flying out of the state during the state's unusual mid-decade redistricting process. Laundering money for Texans for a Republican Majority PAC (though only his aides were convicted). Taking a hunk of cash from Westar Energy just as energy legislation was being hammered out in Congress. Dodging the draft. Chaperoning an embarassing effort by House Republicans to change ethics rules to remove the stipulation that Representatives act "in a manner which shall reflect creditably on the House." Lots of great reasons, all articulated elsewhere in the blogosphere.
A lot of people are citing comments DeLay made in 1998 about people with "foreign-sounding names," which he mentioned during a House debate on campaign finance after the indictment of several Democratic fundraisers. I found some quotes from an old Houston Chronicle article so that the scope of his vaginal and rectal lavage becomes clear:
Standing next to an enlarged photograph of Vice President Al Gore at a Buddhist temple fund-raiser, DeLay said: "If you have a friend by the name of Arief and Soraya, and I cannot even pronounce the last name - Wiriadinata, something like that - who donated $ 450,000 to the DNC and was friends with a guy named Johnny Huang, and later returned it because Wiriadinata could not explain where it came from, then probably there is a high probability that it's money from foreign nationals.
"I could go on with John Lee and Cheong Am, Yogesh Gandhi, Ng Lap Seng, Supreme Master Suma Ching Hai and George Psaltis," DeLay said mockingly, citing names of contributors that surfaced during the Democratic campaign finance controversy.
(Houston Chronicle, "Democrats accuse DeLay of 'grotesque' remarks in speech," 7/18/98)
A douche! A Santorum-filled douche!
(A note: I have nothing against vaginas, nor rectums, nor lavage. Nor vaginal and rectal lavage, if that's your cup of saline-solution tea! DoucheWatch is not intended to reinforce normative notions of sexuality and gender--the illusion of virginal feminine cleanliness, or the presumptive undesirability of anal penetration, for example. Think not of an doe-eyed, befrocked Massengill model astride a white horse; think instead of an unpleasantly chill drip between the legs. DoucheWatch surges forward.)Coming soon--Grandmaster Douche Phil Burress!
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