i <3 my parents

Daughter: Where have you been? I've been trying to call your phone all day.

Father: Our phone lines are dead. There was a storm. PG&E.

Daughter: Oh.

Father: I know you say I only give you panic news, but you have to hear this news. It's not panic news. Your aunt's brother's friend was changing a lightbulb on a ladder with a screwdriver, and he slipped, and the screwdriver went through his eye. Now he only has one eye.

Daughter: Oh my God.

Father: You need your mother to say this to you because you think I only give you panic news. [hands phone to mother]

Mother: Your aunt's brother's friend was changing a lightbulb on a ladder with a screwdriver, and he slipped, and the screwdriver went through his eye. Now he only has one eye.

Daughter: I understood the story the first time. Are you going to vote?

Mother: I already voted. 

Daughter: Who did you vote for? 

Mother: Obama. [Father takes over phone]

Father: Yes, we voted for Obama, but we also voted no on Proposition 8.

Daughter: That's wonderful news.

Father: That would prevent homosexual education in high school.

Daughter: No, it's gay marriage.

Father: Whatever.

Daughter: I'm glad you voted against it.

Father: I have been talking to a colleague who says he will vote yes because he votes however his church tells him to vote.  I have been trying to talk to him. Maybe he will change his mind. You have to be careful. It's so hostile. I have to change his mind so you can live with freedom.

Daughter: I am very happy to hear you say that.