The Master Cleanse

On a whim, and because my friends are doing it--just like if my friends jumped off a bridge would you do it? yes i would--I've decided to go on a ten day "lemonade" diet. (Details below.) Lest y'all worry that I'm disguising anorexia in wacky experiment's clothing, let me remind the audience that I have 0 body image issues and besides, anorexia would be much easier without two cups of maple syrup per day. So no, my goal is not weight loss but coproexperimentation, my favorite pastime. Apparently when one ingests nothing but lemon juice, maple syrup, cayenne pepper, natural laxative teas, and quarts of salt water, one's digest tract is cleansed like a repentant sinner! Mostly what I'm looking forward to is the all-mucus bowel movement...slippery!

I predict I will last 14 hours. If I last longer than that I'll post periodic updates about my bowel movements (and even perhaps pictures, what with my new digicam and all!). Diet starts tomorrow A.M., or tonight if you count my cup of laxative tea as part of it...



THE MASTER CLEANSE OR LEMONADE DIET
Purpose:

To dissolve and eliminate toxins and congestion that have formed in any part of the body.
To cleanse the kidneys and the digestive system.
To purify the glands and cells throughout the entire body.
To eliminate all unusable waste and hardened material in the joints and muscles.
To relieve pressure and irritation in the nerves, arteries, and blood vessels.
To build a healthy blood stream.
To keep youth and elasticity regardless of our years.


WHEN TO USE IT?

When sickness has developed— for all acute and chronic conditions.
When the digestive system needs a rest and a cleansing.
When overweight has become a problem.
When better assimilation and building of body tissue is needed.


AND HOW OFTEN?

Follow the diet for a minimum of 10 days or more— up to 40 days and beyond may be safely followed for extremely serious cases. The diet has all the nutrition needed during this time. Three to four times a year will do wonders for keeping the body in a normal healthy condition. The diet may be undertaken more frequently for serious conditions.



HOW TO MAKE IT?

2 Tablespoons lemon or limejuice (approx. � lemon)

2 Tablespoons genuine maple syrup (Not maple flavored sugar syrup)

1/10 Teaspoon cayenne pepper (red pepper) or to taste

8 oz water, room temperature

Combine the juice, maple syrup, and cayenne pepper in a 10 oz glass jar w/lid and fill with the water.

Shake it up and drink. (Cold water may be used if preferred.)

Use fresh (organic) lemons or limes only, never canned lemon or limejuice nor frozen lemonade or frozen juice.