normal

I met a very nice younger (a.k.a. 24 year-old) person yesterday who was talking about her quest for identity after college. She didn't call it her "quest for identity after college" - that's the cliche this creaky old cow uses to summarize the various concerns she talked about, like choosing a course of study, finishing grad school, getting a job, finding a partner, figuring out the next few years. All very normal things to be worried about at any stage of American life, but especially in your early 20s.

This person was clearly very conscientious and deliberate, to the point where she apologized for wanting a partner, a job, babies, and a family.  I didn't catch everything she said (the bar was like all bars very loud) but the term "Disney fantasy" came from somewhere and hung in the air.  It was the normativity of her desires that made her ashamed of them.

Why the hell is it not okay to want these things? What the hell are we supposed to want? To suffer alone???