don't construe this in any lesbian manner

I just found some very old writing in the dark recesses of my hard drive. Here, describing an encounter I had with one of those people who stand exactly the required minimum distance away from a school and distribute Gideon's Bibles, on the last day of ninth grade:

At first he’s detailing his version of Christianity for me, he tells me about heaven, hell, how my salvation lies in Jesus and that He loves me. Apparently this guy thinks I’m Christian, but a really stupid Christian cause he’s using this tone of voice that you’d use to talk to a gerbil on a spinning wheel, or something. I smile right back at him, nodding my head, occasionally muttering an “Amen to that,” and I suppose I’m just masturbating this guy. He thinks I’m serious and continues to talk. Jesus this, repent this, blahblahblahI’mbetterthanyou stuff, and out of the blue, he says homosexuals are going to burn in hell and upstanding Christians like you and I (here he winks and nudges me with his elbow) get to live in Paradise forever. I am not homosexual, but for some reason, I feel this overwhelming sense of maternalism whenever anyone says anything homophobic, racist, sexist etc. You know, sensitive nineties girl. I'll come back to that. Anyway, the Jesus saves stuff I can handle with only a mild feeling of uneasiness, but anything homophobic makes me sick to my stomach. It’s time to stop playing along, and manifest the hairy legged woman that I am. I tell the man I am an atheist with a belief in a creator, but that creator could have just been the one that sneezed and that bacteria developed into earth. You know, this creator person really doesn’t necessarily give a shit about us, we are just snot. His face goes from the jovial Christian-brotherhood deal to the I-am-looking-at-the-devil-incarnate type of face. He doesn't look crestfallen, like he is disappointed. No, he looks like he is mentally trying to set me on fire with all of his professed, you know, GOD POWERS.

This in a journal I modestly entitled "Masterpiece" and I kept on and off during the O.J. Simpson trial. Note the deft punt in "I'll come back to that." The lezzie denial went on:

There was this woman in black downstairs, black turtleneck, black jeans, the kind you’d expect to be wearing a black beret, berating the bourgeois swine around her, you know? The coffee house frequenter type. You know what she was doing? She was eating a corn dog. A fucking corn dog! Can you believe that? I loved her instantly. I like people like that. People who surprise you, make you realize that your instant judgment was completely insane. I wanted to kiss that woman, just tell her how cool she was. Don’t construe that in any lesbian manner, though.