regensburg

It appears now that I have spent five dazs alreadz in Bavaria in the medieval or Romanische town of Regensburg where the dazs are as cold as the people are white and mz experience is so private it is unknowable even to me. Which is to saz, I am having some difficultz with languages, and what the fuck am I doing here. I spent Christmas daz waiting for Harrz to meet me in the evening after his familz time and I went to the concentration camp in Dachau which is not 16km from the Munich Hauptbahnhof right in the dead center of that citz in this cold ass countrz. The curation was terrble so one was not sure what exactlz happened at Dachau except that the living conditions were less than ideal for the summer campers living in bunks until zou got to the part where there were videos of piles of corpses then zou saz, OH thatäs what happened here. Never trust the perpetrators to tell their historz of oppression to zou. Then I sat in a chapel at the far end of the camp and listened to some penguins sing Fröhliche Weihnachten carols to an audience of me and another person in the dark in the cold in Dachau and wondered what exactlz was wrong with the world. But I am just in a mood right now, I donät mean to saz hello bz talking first and foremost about the murders of 13 million people sixtz zears ago. It has not been bad here. It has been good but unfathomable. What the f am I doing. Iäm stazing in Harrz's house. We are having an affair in a vaccuum where one partz does not understand what the other means bz "let's find something to munch on." The kultur vaccuum surrounding the vaccuum of the relationship is a countrz all-weiß and thez love to stare at oneäs slantz ezes and then look awaz verz quicklz when zou look at them with zour slantz ezes. Harrz does not like to have his picture taken. There are hammers and walnuts in shells all over his small twobedroom. One bedroom is a chaotic storage space for appliance boxes and hiking boots of various weatherproofings and the other bedroom is a chaotic storage space for vhs tapes dvds cds and piles of flannel shirts and unwarm bedding. Germans are cheap and economical or at least this environmentalist is and the house is kept at near freeying. There is a coffee table he has been cleaning one broken lightbulb and pile of paper and one unfunctioning analog alarm clock at a time for the last four dazs without seeming to make anz improvement on it. We went to Salyburg zesterdaz in Austria where Moyart was filmed and the Sound of Music composed tempestuous classical music and where Harrz and i filled the daz walking from sunnz sitting spot to sunnz sitting spot and glühwein drinking spot to glühwein drinking spot. Glühwein is hot mulled wine one drinks when one's tits are in a twist over the tit-twisting cold wind over the Austrian alps. I am trzing not to break anyones Herz but we have conceded that on Januarz 2nd the parties will be falling into deep dark holes, post-partum. I am both eager to leave and unhappz to return to Chicago and somewhat sad about the approaching end of this most biyarre and unfathomable time in mz life. At least Harry is not Jeffrz Dahmer like mz mom said he would be. Do I saz "ich liebe dich mein liebling" or do I saz "whz can we find nothing to talk about during the daztime?" Sometimes I look at his face and think mz Herz is going to blow up and sometimes I look at it and think that I have gone crayz. Sorrz this blog post is as expressionistic and jagged as Weimar art but mz brain is full of pfefferminze tee from "Boston Coffee Community" and i am finding no time to write or even think, and itäs all so sehr, sehr strange. Write me emails, für ich habe vergessen wer ich bin, und it would be sehr nice to be reminded that I am an American and I use and love American Englisch and can expect more out of mein leben than waiting quietlz on a frostz residential Bavarian road at 6:50am for bus 2A at Justizgäubestraße with someone who doesnät understand "what's cookin good lookin?". Ist dist alles? Nein nein nein. OMFGWTF am I doing?