god save the monarchy

Ooops! Only three minutes left in Evidence to grouse about why I hate contemporary fiction. I made the mistake of blowing $14 (which I want back to save up for a Wii) on "Best American Short Stories 2007" last weekend. I made it through 2.3 stories before tiring of reading about 60-85 year-old dying bourgies reflecting somberly on the failures of their lives. BARF!!!! If I read another well-measured, intricately-observed, technically expert, reflective and meaningful shit-stravaganza I'm going to vomit shit into David Remnick's mouth. After I read the opening story by Louis Achinschloss I wanted to scream "SOAPY BALLS! SOAPY BALLS! SOAPY BALLS! SOAPY BALLS!" - something, anything, please, God, something that is not so fucking BORING!