micturate on this carpet

Would it be inappropriate to drop my pants in Furman 310 and spray the room with diarrhea? Or to replace the ugly piece of 3rd grader's "abstract art" in this cheap glass frame with a 24" x 24" picture of Kim Jong Il? Or my face photoshopped behind Kim Jong Il's glasses? Or to selectively pull all these mysterious cables out of the AV closet in here? Or to destroy the table and feed my torts books into the bonfire that I'll stoke with this lacquered wood? Or to hook a finger into the "emergency alarm" switch and disrupt 200 test-taking students upstairs? Or to punch the ceiling tiles into 1" x 2" strips and make a Jenga set out of them? Or pull up the dizzying grey-black-taupe carpet in an effort to locate that beating, beating heart? And to jump into the trashcan and sing Billy Joel's "The Longest Time" when security comes to cart me into the 1L subterranean detention center?

Stay tuned!