Humbling Moments From the Weekend, Pt. 1

1) Moderating this panel on lesbian feminism and the body last Friday, I sort of made a wallflower of myself by letting my panelists monologue without really answering any questions. Finally, at the end of half-hour panel, I jumped in and said, "Sorry to keep bringing up vaginal self-examinations, but it's like the gift that keeps on giving!" and then was promptly cut off by the conference organizer for exceeding the time limit. L-O-kwent!

2) Thursday, in the law library, raptly attending to my Contracts reading and chewing on the end of my four-color pen (black for facts and procedural history, blue for legal issues, green for analysis, red for holdings and dicta),

I accidentally bit down on the release spring for the blue color and somehow got my lower lip trapped under the springs of the pen. It took a good long minute--and a lot of tugging--to extract the spring from my lip, after which I was bleeding and nearly crying.

3) Attempting to purchase a "suit" for use in the future, since all law-talking guys seem to need a black suit and precipitating an existential crisis instead. Why am I shaped like an inverted triangle? I looked like either a trussed-up ham leaking GLH or a tiny boy in a huge woman's suit. Which one am I?

4) Making a new awesome friend, offering new friend a space in a conference hotel I wasn't at liberty to offer, making everyone feel uncomfortable, then having to call and rescind my overeager generosity to aforementioned new awesome friend. Text messaged contrition ensues.

5) Offering, again in overeager generosity, a book to someone for keeps and then having to be reminded by Lo that I was not at liberty to offer the book and she actually wants it back because she worked on the book and is thanked in the acknowledgments. Oop.

6) Accidentally eating my bff, Susan. OMG how embarassing!