No money, no mas.

Another nadir in this godawful week (new couch won't fit into apartment, i humiliated myself in front of others, I quit my job, my dog is vomiting and sad, I am currently sitting in a puddle): not getting a $100,000 scholarship that I had hoped would carry me until my $32,000/year public interest lawyer job could start. Hooray, debt! Suddenly "devotion to the public interest" seems like a mouthful of cavities and "$150,000/year job at Shearman and Sterling" seems like a good dentist. I'm such an asshole.

Trying not to cry to the woman rejecting me by phone was also a good feeling, as was punching the security gate and spraining something in my hand.

Then my dad sent me this email:

mandy , my dear,
love you, don't feel good. ( you have to pay back it anyway!)
nothing can change the way that you want to challenge the world
the enjoy of the study is way worth of the money,
except that the dollar power reduced to half since 4 years ago (
house price almost doubled in four years)
so hurry up, before the perishing opportunity.

love you

Dad.

Anyone who can prise meaning from this gets a cookie. What is he saying?

I'm being a baby. Not getting money that one never deserved to get isn't really on the scale of say, the death of one's spiritual leader or the death of a person in a persistent vegetative state or the memo created by Mel Martinez("'s legal counsel") addressing how the GOP could best manipulate the death of a person in a persistent vegetative state for political gain. Mild depression is only worsened when you recognize the cause of your mild depression to be so petty and privileged.

Onward and upward, I guess. Now my zeal to craft a winning action/comedy screenplay for The Rock has been renewed, as has my interest in being a contestant on a reality show where for minimal ingestion of disturbing substances or momentary endurance of cockroach-filled coffins one can win enough money to pay off the interest on a month of tuition debt. If anyone has any get rich quick schemes they would like to float my way, please remember: I'm a total sucker for you! Send me anything remotely believable and I'll send you some of my non-profit "salary"!

Now if you'll excuse me, a man from Nigeria has emailed me asking for my help in propping up his country's ailing economy. Who am I to say no?