Epstein and Hassan, again

Well, on goes the saga of the offensive and unfunny comic act. My bitch bags are still tightly packed, since I decided the best outcome of this would be genuine persuasion rather than name-calling, as much as I'd like to call those guys the names I've thinking about calling them. The uber-academic deconstruction of their schtick didn't work so hot, so I'm trying a different approach. Here's their latest response, in an email with the subject heading, "Joke Police":

Blackjewlove@aol.com to mhu
Margeret Cho mocks white people and how they speak and act constantly during
her act. She also mocks straight people and by your logic should stick to
only mocking korean-american lesbians. Chris Rock and many black comics build
their whole act around mocking whitey. Are you equally offended by their
political incorrectness?The whole point of our act is to show that we can all laugh
at each other and ourselves. You will admit there are a lot of chinese people
in this world.Many of whom have expressed their love for our act and their
inclusion in it. They must all be self hating by your standards. We target
everyone with love in our hearts and are sad that you dont get us.We think calling
people racist and offensive is mean spirited. Chill and lighten up are very
kind words when someone insults you. You write very well and mask your nastiness
around ivy league verbiage but you still need to chill.You dont dig us. Dont
come to our shows and leave the room if we are performing at a benifit that
you are attending, but the menu under the door line is in and will stay in until
we as artists take it out.You are as bad as the right wing censors that i am
sure you detest.The Black & The Jew

Sigh. This email is presumptuous and rude, not to mention ungrammatical and just unpleasing to read, and again it reiterates the infuriating illogic of the previous two emails. But again, I have decided to test out my persuasion skills rather than my snaps, so I responded almost ingratiatingly:

Maybe I should spell out to you what you are doing:

White man and black woman get on stage. White man says, "Chinese people sure can fuck fast and make a trillion babies, and then still stick a menu under the door." Predominantly white audience, identified as such by the white man ("I can make that joke because there are never any Chinese people in the audience"), laughs uproariously.

You say that the whole point of your show is that "we can all laugh at each other and ourselves." But Epstein and Hassan, no one is laughing back. You got your white audience feeling great about themselves because they can laugh at those funny foreign menu-pushers.

All I asked you to do, in the last email, was to clarify how this was meaningful and not offensive. You say "we laugh at each other and ourselves." But guys, you're pulling neat little verbal trick yourselves. You really aren't explaining anything. Give it another shot. I see you only laughing at other people. How does a white man and a black woman making fun of Chinese people help repair race relations in America?

I'm trying to be nice. I'm trying to communicate respectfully, but you really aren't hearing me at all. I wish you would. I bet we feel the same way: I think I'm trying to be nice, but I feel like you're being proud and mean and not understanding.

So maybe I should try harder to communicate. The reason I find "chill" and "lighten up" to be just as upsetting as the menu joke is because I think you're dismissing what I find to be legitimate concerns. I find it even more upsetting that you continue to hide behind the whole "We did a benefit" excuse--hey, if I told anti-Semetic jokes at a leukemia fundraiser, do I get away with that?--and are just telling me to stay away from you. I'm trying to open a dialogue, but I'm not getting through. And it feels to me like you'd rather have me disappear than confront what I'm trying to tell you. But if I disappear, and you go on telling your joke, you're just going to hurt a lot of people like you hurt me, and I don't want that.

I don't doubt that you "target everyone with love in [your] hearts," like you said. And I said before, and I'll say again, that I don't doubt you're trying to do the right thing. I don't think there's anything wrong with making fun of racial stereotypes. But the point I was trying to make in the last email was that the spirit of the joke really matters when you make a racial joke. It's funny when you guys make fun of each other, because you obviously love and respect each other. Your audience knows that.

It's just not obvious that you have any respect for Chinese people when you are making the menu joke. When you guys were going through the menu routine, I kept saying to myself, "Why are these guys saying this? What are people going to get out of this?" I wanted to give you the benefit of the doubt, since you seemed like sincere people. But I kept thinking about it, and I think you perceive your joke differently than it actually comes across. You're trying to keep everyone laughing at each other, but really it just felt like you were attacking one group of people.

I'm not calling for your censorship. I'm just asking for your respect. I only continue to write because I hope I can change your mind; or, at least, you'll listen to me and think about all the Asian folks you're making feel like shit because you make the jokes you do.

Again, all of this would be clarified if you could give me an honest answer to this question: how does a white man and a black woman making fun of Chinese people help repair race relations in America?

Please open your heart, listen to my concerns, and tell me what you think.

Respectfully,
Mandy

This is all leaving an ugly feeling all over. It's so depressing that two people who think they're doing well, and who are probably generally in the "alleviating human suffering" column rather than the "causing human suffering" column, could be so intractable about their own racism. It's making me angry to be so rudely dismissed, again and again, but once again, you win more minds with pulling than with pushing. I'm keeping the lid on the insult pot and cinching the bitch bag tight for at least one more round.

I think if Epstein and Hassan keep not listening to me, I'm going to ask the people I know who attended the $pread launch party, if they also found the "menu joke" sequence to be unconscionable, to write to the couple and complain. Maybe they'll start to see my point if more than just one angry Chinee writes them. Please write me if you want to respond to them, and I'll pass on their email address.

The war inside me:

• Angry Chinee says: Fuck the healing! Fuck the healing! Off with their heads!
• Persuasive Outreacher says: Swing voters! They can learn!
• Angry Chinee: Fucking hate being the educator! Fucking hate being the P.C. joykiller who has to point out the unfunniness of racism! Fucking hate people! Suck my dick!
  
• Persuasive Outreacher: Turn the other cheek. Love the other cheek. Massage the other cheek so that its bankrupt opinions start responding to logic and reasoning.
• Angry Chinee: I fucking hate you all. Fuck you for making me feel like a fucking idiot for standing up for myself. Fuck you, and you and you, and especially, fuck you. Fuck the healing.

That's better. Now let the healing begin, bitches.