Day in Court, Part 2

I'm too lazy to write another acrostic explaining my return to court, so I'll have to tell the whole saga in prose.

7:30 The alarm! The fucking alarm! Is set to the least offensive sound on my cell phone. Which is a bird song. Canaries in the a.m.!
7:45 The dog! The fucking dog! Take a shit already! I'm getting cold!
8:00 The train! The fucking train! Smells like shit!
9:02 There's a line of two dozen freezing in front of 100 Centre Street. The weather today will reach a high of 55 degrees, but it's still in the thirties in the morning. Optimists, sans winter coats, shiver and shake. Several people do pull the fake agitation/confusion method of cutting in line, making me livid. You're going to COURT, people. To CRIMINAL COURT. No need to cut in line.
9:15 Still waiting in line. I write down the taunting phrases inscribed in the marble at the entrance: "Why should there not be a patient confidence in the ultimate justice of the people" and "Every place is safe to him who lives in justice; be just and fear not."
9:30 Law-talking guy finds me in Part C, Room 206. I'm reading the third story in the new McSweeney's, which is written in the same muscular, terse tone as the first, second, and fourth through twentieth stories. Makes me feel like I'm staring at somebody's erect penis. Not that I've ever spent significant time around an erect penis. Anyway, boring shit. Law-talking guy gives me the run-down.
9:45 The third case called today is mine. I don't even have time to study the attire of my fellow criminals. The judge agrees with the lawyer's reasoning, dismisses the case in thirty seconds.
9:46 Free Willy! I did nothing but walk up to the defendent's stand and listen to my heart drum in my throat.

Feels good to be exonerated. I never told my parents. Btw, Mom and Dad! I was arrested on October 29! Oop!