Events in recent days have turned my attention to the past. I'm digging through my emails for clues, but I'm finding more questions than answers. How did I miss this? Or, What does this mean? What erratic wind blew me back and forth from fretful to bold twenty times in a day?
It sounds neurotic but actually the exercise has lots of pleasures. One of them is unearthing this email from Dad, from last August:
i have been bullied since my 2nd job.
my boss then, was a half-german half ugoslavia man, has very bad temper, looking down on me all the time.
( my english was even poorer than it of today, and just changed major from math to EE, with no lab experience )
Gave me all the dirty jobs to do, i have to wake up at 6:30AM and show up at work around 7:30AM every day,
Listened to him in a narrow office for more than one hour for job status of me or other colleagues, often got humiliated by him, then worked until midnight in the Labs.
i endured for 5 years until i got green card, we're in US immigration office SF 2~3 days before you were born, then the next mondy day i applied transfer and got accepted to test engineer department. my boss got divorced a few weeks later and stayed in mental hospital for several weeks after 5 guys quit him the same day.
We've done it for our family to stay in a safe country, U.S ( Taiwan was kicked out of UN few years before we left, communist was looming to take over ), to find a still considered as a good job to feed our family and for my kids to have better opportunity for healthier educational environment.
but at least i've learned or developed some skill that i can use to transfer to other group.
I got more bullied for my next so many jobs, assigned with dirty jobs on almost all holidays and weekends.
Mom was also bullied by her Taiwanese boss, M.X., almost every day, enter dollar values of thousand piece of receipt with her finger, no zero fun. physical abuse ( no heating the winter, and seat next the the chilly door) in combination with harassing to replace her with other newly interviewed candidates, and she interview everyday. She has same culture.. same town in taiwan, same street, in Zhong Li..
They has their own circle, we are always outsider. Same culture , same race.. no difference at the end.
Unless you own a business and have business partners and you guys run a successful, money making business.
Then pretty soon you're suspicious about each other, there will be more politics .
If you decided not to have family with kid that you can sacrifice for , may be you should endure more for you present work,
Do every dumb thing they told you to do, but , hermetically learn every skill they know, then hermetically find a new job then hermetically learn ...... in these cycle until you are ready and have found partner, chinese/indian/mexican etc, to start your own kingdom, and in parallel to this process , you are investing your enviable high salary reward, marching toward your 40 year old retirement, as a backup measurement.
forgive our poor IQ.
a poor dad. and mom ,