1. I decided to take improv classes at Second City, a theater/comedy company in Chicago. I wanted to take a straight-up acting class but I couldn't make the time, but I think improv would be just as good for my goals: challenge myself, learn to overcome fear of floundering, learn performance skills, etc. We shall see how it goes!
2. An exercise ball is coming in the mail on Monday to replace my godawful painful ass-sweat-inducing iron maiden of a office death throne. I had to ask my judge yesterday if he didn't mind that when people came into his chambers the first thing they would see would be a fat Chinese man balancing atop a giant red ball. He didn't seem to mind, but recommended also that I try the wooden chairs in his office. I am also thinking of wearing a helmet so that when the exercise ball pops and my head slams backward into the corner of my desk, I don't die. And perhaps also some sort of welding mask so that the extremely hot milky tea I am sure to be drinking at the time won't spray a hot lactose font into my face and leave it covered in burns.
3. After this weekend's fun in New York, I have decided to revive my online dating profile. It is summertime and it is time for me to start having more awkward meetings with strangers. I don't like filling out online profiles because they are just cleverness surveys and I get awfully nervous trying to find witty things to say. But it's better to answer with evasive cleverness rather than literal honesty, because who wants to go on dates with bores who write that the first things other people notice about them are their asses or Cubs paraphernalia or Dodge Chargers? Ugh. Anyway, I wrote that the first things people notice about me are halitosis, enuresis, and encopresis. This means bad breath, bed-wetting, and fecal leakage. Last night I received a message from someone I am most definitely not going on a date with: "Doesn't 'halitosis' mean bad breath? Why on earth would you want people to know that you have bad breath?" FAIL for so many reasons. NEXT.
(CH and I talked a bit on Monday about how it was impossible to be friends with people who took themselves too seriously. I asked her to define what she meant by "taking yourself too seriously." She said, "Okay, say you break your arm. That's pretty funny! I mean, it sucks and hurts, but if you think about it, it's pretty funny too! A person who takes himself too seriously doesn't think it's funny." This was the best example ever!)
4. So many of the foods that doctors recommend you eat every day are part of my almost-daily diet, including: yogurt, oatmeal, bananas, tomatoes, carrots, leafy greens, almonds, walnuts, pecans, cashews, legumes, oranges, raisins/cranberries/other dried berries, grapes (in addition to raisins! I eat the babies and the grandparents together!), black tea, herbal tea, ginseng, vitamin supplements, flax seeds, and dark chocolate. I feel so self-satisfied about my healthiness!
5. I blew a chunk of cash on a new old bike. It's a single-speed (not fixed gear) 49 cm Fuji Espree with 27" knobby tires and slightly raised handlebars in the BMX style. It's slightly too small for me, and the wheels are slightly too big for the bike, so it does that dangerous thing where the front of your feet get caught in the wheels when you try to turn too sharply. Also, there is only one brake installed, so I had a few close encounters with the back bumpers of some cars on my commute to work yesterday. Nonetheless, riding this swift and simple steed gives me unfathomable pleasure.
6. A dedicated bassist joined my band this week and already we sound infinitely better.
7. I jogged to work today and wiped my armpits with a moistened paper towel upon arriving.